'Making a judgement' is an overloaded phrase with two meanings.
The first is to observe and to make an evaluation on what you
have observed, in relation to what you want to do and who you
want to be.
To make a decision.
The second one is to call the object of judging either 'good'
or 'bad'. I prefer to call this meaning 'condemnation', for
clarity.
'Condemning others' equals 'condemning yourself' out of the
simple fact that 'others' equals 'yourself'.
My advice is: judge without judging.
That is, make decisions without condemnations.
Make decisions in respect to current situations, but don't close
off other choices, either yours or others'.
Be aware of a 'higher' truth, a broader perspective!
Even judging someone seemingly positively from your point of
view (for example: "He has good manners.")
may not be to that person's liking.
Why? Because you might imply by the tone of your voice or by
the nature of things said that other persons or behavior that
don't fit into this category are condemned 'bad' by you.
The problem is that usually there's a big difference in how
you perceive that person, how that person perceives himself
and on the deeper level: who what person really is. You may
perceive only an aspect, treat it as 'good' and condemn the
other aspects by implying they are 'bad'.
This can be done out of simple ignorance or for manipulative
purposes.
Here's an example simple and descriptive enough. It's also very
ugly:
"You are a good girl. You will keep on doing what I
say, you don't want to be bad, now do you? Good, of course not.
Mama doesn't like bad girls. You are a good girl."
After all, people like to be liked, and if you don't exactly
know what's going on you can be easily led by your nose.
If you are one of those people who think they are right opposed
to everyone else (who are wrong), I suggest to give up this
fixed idea and change your ways, because:
1. It's bad for your health.
2. It's bad for the health of everyone around you.
3. It's ugly and inefficient, and will get even less efficient
as people start paying attention to what you are really doing.
(Of course, choice always is.)
Condemnations tend to close up on people and even if they submit
to it, sooner or later they break out and the condemnations
backfire on the ones who condemn.
Closing off probabilities (parts of Yourself) just pushes them
out of the reach of your awareness and influence your life in
form of fears.
Accept, harmonize, energize; be Yourself!
No harm can get to you when 'harm' becomes meaningless!
Pay attention - be aware!
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